No one knows why my little girl wasn’t breathing. The cord wasn’t wrapped around her mneck, there were no obvious signs of anything going wrong, I had felt her moving prior to all of this. The only speculation I’ve even heard was from my ob/gyn. He thinks that the reason my labor progressed so quickly was that since my joints and organs were already really loose, the hormones my body produced to prepare for the pregnancy loosened them so much that there wasn’t very much actual “laboring” to be done. The only serious hard contractions I had were to actually get my daughter through the vaginal muscles.
All this means very little – if I had called, he said he would have told me to call back later. Maybe I could have gone straight to the hospital when I first felt different contractions, or early that morning, but no one really understands how my labor progressed at this point. They say it’s important to know for next time (and I had the expected reaction to the ‘next time’ comment, but I can understand their thought process), but it doesn’t really relieve any of the guilt I feel.
